everyone at work knows, and i only told, like, 2 people. it’s been the month of people asking me questions about my personal life, and it’s uncomfortable. it’s already embarrassing because i’ve only had the job for a month and i don’t want it to look like i couldn’t handle it and had to run away
the girl in my dept is basically already guaranteed my job but i don’t even know if the manager of the other store is going to approve my transfer! what if i don’t get the job? then i won’t have my job here, either. and what if something goes wrong with financial aid going through and i can’t go to school either?! then what?!?! then i’ll have nothing and i’ll have to kill myself from shame
also, even though i’m friends with the girl i work with, it hurts to hear her bragging about getting my job because i wanted it for so long and have worked so hard for it
so i am panicking HARD
Jupiter’s great red spot. A hurricane three times the size of our whole planet that’s been raging for centuries.
when i talked to the store manager yesterday, i hadn’t even closed the door to his office before i began uglycrying
he told me he’d give me a career there if i wanted, but i don’t want to sell my soul to the devil when heaven is so close
i’m afraid to give up what i’ve worked so hard for in order to pursue something else entirely. i have doubts, i wonder if i’m making a mistake, i wonder if i’m being irresponsible, i wonder if i should just stick with what i already have instead of reaching for something better and possibly failing again
but then i remember that i don’t want to be like my mom, working retail for the rest of my penniless life
IF I’M GONNA DO THIS I HAVE TO DO IT NOW WHILE I’M STILL YOUNG ENOUGH FOR IT TO BE SORT OF SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO BE LIVING WITH A RELATIVE WHILE I’M IN SCHOOL
ANDERSON: You should ask David about his teacup picture…
DUCHOVNY: That’s so weird – someone just sent me that shot on my phone a couple of hours ago, saying ‘Is that you?’ And I hadn’t seen it in I don’t know how long. It was taken right when we started doing The X-Files, when I went down to LA to do a bunch of shots at my manager’s house. In between set-ups I was just fucking around, naked, and I put this teacup over my genitals. And they took a couple of pictures, just for us, for a laugh. I was innocent, thinking, ‘It’s my balls. Who’s going to possibly want a picture of my balls?’ And a couple of years later my then-publicist, who will remain nameless, sold them. Here, look…
(He pulls out his iPhone and, after a rapid bit of button-toggling, displays the photo. Empire gives it a brief, polite glance. Anderson erupts into giggles.)
ANDERSON: Oh God! I remember during the series you were really embarrassed you’d ever done that. You look so young in it!
DUCHOVNY: (Putting phone away) And that’s all you get…
Empire UK, August 2008